Getting to Change – Session 2 with the Support of Coaching

Getting to ChangeIndividuals need to:

  1. Recognized the disadvantage of the status quo.
  2. Recognize the advantages of change.
  3. Hold some optimism about change.
  4. Have an intention to change.
  5. Make a commitment to change.

Recognize the disadvantage of status quo:

  • I never really thought about how…
  • I think I have not taken this serious enough
  • I can see now that if I don’t change…. I could die sooner

Recognize the advantages of change:

  • If I weigh less, I could buy regular size clothing
  • If I weighed a normal weight, I would have more energy
  • I would probably feel better if I exercised
  • I might enjoy my grandchildren more as they grow up

Expressing optimism about change:

  • I think I could exercise 2 times a week
  • I was able to quit smoking many years ago
  • I usually can do something if I made up my mind I am going to do it
  • I think I can do this with some support from family

Expressing intention to change:

  • I think it is time for me to do this
  • I have got to do something
  • This is not how I want to be the rest of my life
  • I don’t know how I will do this but I am going to have to do it

Making a commitment to change:

  • I have a plan
  • I have accountability
  • I have the drive
  • I have support

4 Things You Can Do Instead of Complain

GratefulOne of the biggest threats to building a great team and organization is complaining. When we complain we focus on everything else but being our best. Complaining actually costs the economy billions of dollars in lost productivity and it will sabotage the morale, engagement, and culture of your team if you let it.

We complain for two main reasons.

  1. We feel powerless.
  2. It’s a habit. You can break the habit and when you stop complaining.

Think about starting to create the life that you want. Let’s face it, if you are complaining, you’re not leading.

To help you break out of a “complaining” rut; here are four things you can do instead of complaining. These tips will help you realize you are not powerless. You have the power to choose your beliefs and actions, and focus on the positive instead of the negative, you’ll find the faith, strength, and confidence to take on life’s challenges and identify the solutions to your complaints.

  1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our minds at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work.
  2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.
  3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.
  4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out. Surrender is the answer.

Ten Attitudes that Cultivate Healing Presence

Non-judging

PatienceJudgments (especially premature judgments) can stifle our compassion.  Judgments can make us feel as if we are “experts” when in reality being judgmental can limit the options and opportunities that are available.  A judgmental nature can make it hard to feel at peace.  Staying with whatever arises without judgment requires gentleness, kindness, and compassion.

Patience

To be patient requires tolerance and even-tempered perseverance.  Patience strengthens your ability to calmly endure challenging or painful situations.  Patience helps us accept each moment exactly as it unfolds and teaches us how to be complete in each moment.

Beginner’s mind

When we look at life with a beginner’s mind, we are in awe and possibilities abound.  We don’t beat ourselves up because we are not experts – we allow time to practice and learn and allow others to practice and learn.  We don’t let our expertise on a subject limit what we can learn or what others can learn.  When we are beginners we are learning, practicing, absorbing, and building from the ground up.  We live in the moment.

Trust

Trust is essential for personal growth.  When we trust we give up control and the illusion of authority.  We learn to trust our intuition – our deep inner wisdom – our instincts and our own emotions. This usually results in less self-judgment.

Letting GoNon-striving

Almost everything we do, we do for a purpose; to accomplish something or go somewhere.  The tendency to be driven in our culture and society has enabled us to enjoy unprecedented standards of living, comfort, and security.  This has also resulted in extraordinary levels of depression, dissatisfaction, and feelings of isolation.  Within this context, non-striving is the attitude of not straining for or forcing a result or an intended outcome.  Loosening expectations of how someone should be (including yourself) can be extremely liberating.

Acceptance

There may be no greater gift you can give than to accept someone (including yourself) exactly as they are showing up in your life at that moment.  The gift of acceptance is needed before any transformation can truly begin (and stay).  The attitude of acceptance requires kindness, self-compassion, and non-judgment.

Letting go

Another way to think about letting go is non-attachment.  The tendency to want to hold on to what is pleasant in our experience and to reject what is unpleasant is a common human experience.  Letting go allows us to experience and learn to respect each new moment without holding on to old ones.  When we let go, we remove old burdens and grudges; we let go of assumptions and expectations.  We start fresh each time.  Letting go allows for new possibilities and growth.

Gratitude GenerosityGratitude

Gratitude involves a feeling of or giving of thanks.  It can be an appreciation for something large or small.  Adopting an attitude of gratitude trains our brains to look for things to appreciate (or increase in value).  For instance, we can be grateful that our organs are working properly, or that we have the ability to take a deep breath.  Additionally, an attitude of gratitude allows you to see the value in any lesson that might be learned from an unpleasant event or occurrence.

Generosity

Giving freely of yourself (e.g., your time, attention, thought) to someone other than yourself without expectation of anything in return enhances interconnectedness and personal fulfillment.

Compassion

CompassionCompassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

Compassion is not the same as empathy, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help.

Scientists have started to map the biological basis of compassion, suggesting its deep evolutionary purpose. This research has shown that when we feel compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people.